Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The struggles of a small town man whore
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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