I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
