you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
