sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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