Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
