You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
