I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
