News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
