I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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