"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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