that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
