dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
