I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
