I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize