Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
