He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
