So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
