Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
