Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We are all done wearing pants today
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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