this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
