you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So vagazzling was a success
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
