He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize