pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
