handjob tips. give me some.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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