hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
