Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
