The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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