I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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