O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
