it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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