Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
