So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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