I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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