Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you

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(613): View more from Ontario

Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.

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(574): View more from Indiana

I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor

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(313): View more from Michigan

We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.

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(979): View more from Texas

It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.

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(347): View more from New York

You blew him?!?!

(201): View more from New Jersey

*Am blowing

(201): View more from New Jersey

And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.

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(971): View more from Oregon

stop texting me about your public sex.

(503): View more from Oregon

says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me

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