I wanna bring you to show and tell
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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