we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
