Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
