he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
