There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
