do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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