D3 body, D1 cock
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
