were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize