I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
