i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
