Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
