did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
