so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You left your underwear on the fireplace
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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