okay pat passed out under dana's car
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
