And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Less talking, more tequila
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
