Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
