Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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