I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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