i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize