You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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