yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
