Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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