Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he told me I talked like a deaf person
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
