Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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