i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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