I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
