yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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