And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
