I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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