I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he thought i was a dude.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
